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Relationship goals:
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Concept: That scene in every 90s high school movie where someone shows the new kid around the cafeteria (”that table is the nerds, those are the jocks, the goths, the cheerleeders” etc) except it’s a medieval tavern and each table has a different d&d class.
Those are the arcane casters. They all sit together, but the wizards think the sorcerers are undisciplined cheaters and the sorcerers think the wizards are pretentious dicks. You don’t wanna get in the middle of that–the last person who tried got polymorphed into a toad. I guess he had a lot of debts he was looking to get out of, though, so he just rolled with it. He’s somebody’s familiar now, I think.
The bards used to sit with them, but they broke off a while ago to do their own thing. Look, I should tell you right now: you’re poetically gonna sleep with at least one of them. It’s happened to most of us, so don’t be embarrassed. If you’re lucky, you might get away with just a ballad to your beauty parodying an 80s rock hit.
The paladins are at the next table over. Religious freaks, but if you’re getting bullied they’ll have your back even if they don’t know you. You, uh…you might end up sleeping with some of them, too. Look, they’re really good listeners, okay? Whatever.
The druids. Don’t even THINK of trying to sit with them unless you’re rocking a negative carbon footprint. Or if you can turn into a bear or a slow loris or something, they love that shit.
The rogues are…they’re around here somewhere.
the warlocks are the goth kids smoking cigarettes by the dumpster in the alley that most people are scared of. they’re pretty cool once you get to know them.
(via cybermax)
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Just for fun and separate from our campaign, we decided to have a session where we all tried to kill each other. As the squishiest druid, my only chance of survival was by hiding while the others picked each other off.
Druid (ooc): So this moat, you said it has gators in it?
DM: Yeah, and they will try to kill you too. Don’t get killed by a gator. That would just be pathetic.
Druid: But if I use Wild Shape?
DM: … Oh that is sneaky. Roll deception.
Druid: Success!
DM: Ok so the gators think you’re one of them and don’t attack you. You bastard.
I won when the barbarian had to fight and kill all 12 real alligators just to find me.PUBG D&D, anyone?
(via yourplayersaidwhat)
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why the fuck does english have a word for
but not for “the day after tomorrow”
???
Because you’re not looking hard enough! ;)
Overmorrow = the day after tomorrow
Ereyesterday = the day before yesterday
Example: I defenestrated my brother ereyesterday. I shall defenestrate my sister overmorrow! Because I hate my family and also windows.
english has some of the best examples of stupidly specific words, tbh
Rhotacism (n): excessive use of the letter “R”
Lingible (adj): meant to be licked
Whipjack (n): a beggar, specifically one who is pretending to have been shipwrecked
Yerd (v): to beat with an object with a stick
Roddikin (n): the fourth stomach of a cow or a deer
Balbriggan (n): a type of fine cotton, most often used in underwear
and my personal favorite
Cornobble (v): to slap or beat another person with a fish
This makes the English nerd in me extremely happy.
Who even made these words I’m going to cornobble them
My dick is lingible
there is a dictionary that has all of these stupidly specific and obscure words and a whole lot more. It’s absolutely beautiful.
(via cybermax)
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“I think of you so often you have no idea.”
— James Joyce, Ulysses.
(via thelovejournals) -
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Love me for who I am not who you want me to be.
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“…to arrive at that beautiful ancient innocence which consists of the ability to plunge into dream…”
— Albert Camus, from Youthful Writings; “Essay on Music,” wr. c. 1932
(via violentwavesofemotion)(via headlesssamurai)
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